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This year is moving too fast for me. It's already May and it seems like I've barely dented my "to-do" list. I don't feel guilty about it. I just feel like there are so many things undone just hanging above my head.

I've realized that my day is just too full. On most days, I don't sit down to just rest or relax until 10 pm. I'm literally going all day...kids to school, physical therapy, work outs, cooking, cleaning, managing home, managing and work from my business. Lately it feel like I get to start things but never really complete the task. I'll do the laundry and the clean clothes sit in the laundry basket for days. I'll start a declutter project and the remnants are sitting in piles. Don't even get me started on the unread mail, the emails I need to answer, returning phone call, paying bills...ugh! I never seem to get to the little things like signing up the boys for sports and music, marketing my business to more clients and the scrapbooking materials that have been sitting there untouched. No wonder I'm spent at the end of the day and no wonder I'm tired. I think my soul is tired.

That coupled with the stress of the Dish being unemployed...again. Seriously, the union jobs are just not cutting it anymore. For the past 6 years, it's like a part time job. The Dish has been applying everywhere and is even shifting careers now that he has his degree in Criminal Justice. BUT these are hard times and finding a job is very hard.

I try not to stress reminding myself that I'm still working with contracts that afford me a monthly check. I try to remember that we do have savings to fall back on. But how could I not be scared for the future? Most people are and it's contagious. However, we can't make decisions based on fear.

I know I just need to slow down and make more time for myself even if something gets undone. I recently dusted off my books from Marianne Williamson. I love her! She is spiritual versus religious and has an amazing guidance to find calm in this crazy world we live in. I started following her on Twitter and her messages are just what I need to hear right now.

Here are some from today:

Happiness lies in being involved in a process larger than yourself. It's like an umbrella made of anti-gravity, drawing your emotions upward.

When you deflect your good, the universe holds it in trust for you until you are ready to receive it. You only pushed "pause;" start again.

Since you were born with infinite potential, then no matter what you have achieved you've only scratched the surface of your innate ability.

I'm going to make some iced green tea and take a few moments to sit and do nothing....if I still remember how.

The Truth is Scary

I'm starting to avoid watching the news. It's just too depressing. We all know how messed up everything is out there. Job losses, home losses, folks with no health care and no place to live...people willing to work but there are no jobs.

My family and I are doing okay for now but it's hard to relax and it's hard not to worry when you see what's happening to other folks. At least once a week I hear of a murder/suicide where money troubles is mentioned as a possible motive. To lose your life or take another is senseless yet I understand the immense pressure one can feel when you are about to lose everything. The worry, the fear, the sleepless nights and the desperation. And what happens when you have done everything right and you still can't find your way out of the situation?

I reached a point one time. My husband had been unemployed for over 10 months and we were almost through our savings. I was working but my client had not paid me and her company shut down owing me over $20,000. I was wrecked with worry and trying to find other work and find a way to keep what we had. After a while I was just too exhausted to fight. I came to a point where I was okay if we had to sell our home and move to an apartment and completely downsize our life. At least I had that option.

What if you don't have that option? You can't sell your home in this market and if you do it will sit on the market for a long time and you might even get less than you owe. I was watching on TV on how many Americans are becoming homeless. Big families with no home, no savings, no jobs and no place to go. Some are on the streets and sleeping in shelters. Others have set up tent cities. It's so scary and it's going to get worse before it gets better.

It's a big mess that our new president inherited. I wish there was some way for those in charge who got us here to pay for their mistakes. The corrupt are to blame...the big banks, the politicians...the greedy. And a big serving of karma is coming. I'm not saying that we Americans have done the best job with saving and living within our means but many people got rich on the now suffering of others.

I do have faith and I do believe that our country can recover. So many things must change but in the mean time we have to do better for those who need it the most. They need a bailout not some rich corporate thug.

it's hard to blog when...

...you have painters in your house painting and furniture it piled in rooms where it does not belong. I'm smiling on the inside and looking forward to freshly painted walls, doors and trim to go with the new flooring.

Other projects for February:
Continue to declutter kitchen and living room: 70% complete.
Sort/Purge 2 boxes of personal papers: 30% complete.
Sort/Purge one drawer of client files: begin this week
Sort/Purge one box of kiddie toys: begin this week.

That's this month.

My son is sick with a slight cold and had his first absence from school. He was not feeling well over the weekend. He stayed home from school yesterday and today. My younger son has a field trip this morning. He was so excited. I was supposed to go with him and chaperon but I had to cancel so I could be home with D.

Yesterday they were both home with me. I spent most of the day trying to keep them out of the painter's way and making sure they didn't touch the parts of the house that had wet paint. Which was most of the house as they had tackled most of the trim, doors and window sills...ugh! I was so tired yesterday.

Yesterday was Groundhog Day/Candlemas Day. It's s day to "clean" your home and welcome the sun. I usually light candles in every room in the house and burn sage but with the paint fumes...I figured I'd better wait.

It was also me and the Dish's 11-year anniversary of being together. We will be married 10 years this June! Time flies....

A new Blog is coming

I am so exciting to be starting a new blog with one of my friends. It's going to be a cooking blog. I love to cook, I love to eat so this is very exciting for me.

I will be keeping this blog and doing more updating for my fitness and life stuff. I will not be starting a private blog at this time as I simply do not have the time. I miss the private posts (on JS) where I can vent about stuff. I can't do that here as this is public and my picture is on here....too many eyes can see. Sigh! If the mood strikes me I can always to a private post on Facebook as there is a note feature that you can specify who can read it.

I'm not too sure what I will be doing over at the new JS. I am not complaining but it's just too much for me and I feel guilty enough for not keeping up with the rest of my online networks. At this point I have this blog, Facebook, a Sparkpage, Linked-in and now the start of a cooking blog. I dabbled in Twitter a bit but I have to stop somewhere or my family is going to have to call "social networking" anonymous. LOL!

Happy Friday! My day has begun and I have much to do!

On this Historic Day

I was so looking forward to today. It was truly a historic moment...not just because we have our first African-American/Black President...he's half white too, ya know? But because what we have is a people's president. We have not had a president like that in a long time...or as far as I have lived...ever. I call him a touchable President because even when taking the oath, you did not see some staunch person armed with his golden spoon up his butt ready to relay the affects of the previous domination. No, you did not see that. You saw a real person...a man who has walked the shoes not only of the "have-not's" and as a man of color who has endured and overcome all of the obstacles that those before him have witnessed.

I also saw "the doubters"and "the haters" today and I felt sorry for them. Not because they don't like Obama or don't get Obama because they could NOT, for one moment, witness the glory of this moment. A moment of hope...could you not see that hope in the faces of the people in that crowd? What is wrong with that? Why are we not allowed to have hope? In these past years with for all that we have endured under the Bush administration, today we are hopeful...er, at least I am. We are not naive. We are not stupid. We believe that this man, our new President, can lead our nation in a new direction. We need a new direction. Our country is ready for a new direction. And I believe that President Obama (and I get chills when I say this out loud) can deliver what he promised.

We needed something different, people! The old school politics do not work anymore, not that they ever have...at least not now! Look at us! Look at what we can be! He did not proclaim to do it alone. He commissioned all of us to help and we should. Why would we think one man could fix the evils of the past?

We have elected the right man for the right time. I am happy and all of you sulkers will NOT take that away for me.

TODAY I watched all of the new coverage from this morning until the President took his oath. TODAY I cried with pride. TODAY I picked up my son from school watching all of the students in a buzz of excitement as they were allowed to watch the inauguration at school. TODAY I made a special inauguration dinner for my family....fillet, garlic scallops, mushroom risotto, champagne and blueberry lemon pound cake. I served it in style and even gave the kiddies lemonade mixed with club soda in a champagne flute so they could feel the significance of the moment. And I really didn't need to push the agenda. My five-year-old son came to dinner in a tie. Yes, he gets it.

The lessons I have learned - Part 1

I am a big fan of the Biggest Loser. I like the fact that it shows that with proper nutrition and exercise, you can lose weight. No magic pills..no quick fix. Well obviously the show is an exaggerated version of fitness. You, too, would be successful if you trained for 6 hours a day and had someone prepare your meals...micro nutrient perfection. BUT it is indeed a testimony as to what can be done.

This season really hits home. These contestants are the heaviest in the show's history with the heaviest woman weighing in at 379. The significance is that it is a snapshot of our country's population and our country's obesity problem...or shall I say epidemic? It is epidemic in that the obesity epidemic is slowly lowering our life expectancy rate. We as adults may live longer than our children and there is something very disturbing and wrong about that.

I have a fought my weight my entire life. I am finally coming to terms with where I have failed. Not in failing to to lose weight but for failing to make my health my number one priority. Never before has it become more clear that it's never been about food but the lack of balance in my life. That is Lesson #1...find your balance! Not to quote Oprah but I could totally relate to what she's said on her show last week and in her webcast.

What bothers me about Oprah's new quest for health is the the marketing ploy that comes with the message. I applaud her efforts to take care of herself and her honesty about "falling off the wagon". I think she has a good plan..both for fitness and for nutrition BUT there is no one-size-fits all diet or workout plan for anyone. That is lesson #2...find what works for you! They will sell many of Bob's (her trainer) books because people look up to Oprah and take her advice to the "T". Maybe that is a good thing BUT you have to find what works for you.

It is trial and error to find out how many calories you need to eat, how much protein you need, how many calories you need to burn, etc. I'm still learning and I need to re-evaluate every month such as changing my weight training routine every 4 weeks or seeing where I can improve my nutrition.

That brings me to Lesson #3..be consistent. When I took a shot at this last year I got some good advice. Give it some time! Don't quit even if you fall...get back up! It took 4 weeks to see some real results but it was working. I did lose weight abut then I got stuck.

These are my lessons but I share them because I had read other people's lessons and it really helped me find my own. I'm here, I'm doing this and I am in this for life. Even if I just lose a pound a month there will be no turning back. Which brings me to Lesson #4 Reward progress not perfection!

To be continued.....