Thursday, May 21, 2009


This year is moving too fast for me. It's already May and it seems like I've barely dented my "to-do" list. I don't feel guilty about it. I just feel like there are so many things undone just hanging above my head.

I've realized that my day is just too full. On most days, I don't sit down to just rest or relax until 10 pm. I'm literally going all to school, physical therapy, work outs, cooking, cleaning, managing home, managing and work from my business. Lately it feel like I get to start things but never really complete the task. I'll do the laundry and the clean clothes sit in the laundry basket for days. I'll start a declutter project and the remnants are sitting in piles. Don't even get me started on the unread mail, the emails I need to answer, returning phone call, paying bills...ugh! I never seem to get to the little things like signing up the boys for sports and music, marketing my business to more clients and the scrapbooking materials that have been sitting there untouched. No wonder I'm spent at the end of the day and no wonder I'm tired. I think my soul is tired.

That coupled with the stress of the Dish being unemployed...again. Seriously, the union jobs are just not cutting it anymore. For the past 6 years, it's like a part time job. The Dish has been applying everywhere and is even shifting careers now that he has his degree in Criminal Justice. BUT these are hard times and finding a job is very hard.

I try not to stress reminding myself that I'm still working with contracts that afford me a monthly check. I try to remember that we do have savings to fall back on. But how could I not be scared for the future? Most people are and it's contagious. However, we can't make decisions based on fear.

I know I just need to slow down and make more time for myself even if something gets undone. I recently dusted off my books from Marianne Williamson. I love her! She is spiritual versus religious and has an amazing guidance to find calm in this crazy world we live in. I started following her on Twitter and her messages are just what I need to hear right now.

Here are some from today:

Happiness lies in being involved in a process larger than yourself. It's like an umbrella made of anti-gravity, drawing your emotions upward.

When you deflect your good, the universe holds it in trust for you until you are ready to receive it. You only pushed "pause;" start again.

Since you were born with infinite potential, then no matter what you have achieved you've only scratched the surface of your innate ability.

I'm going to make some iced green tea and take a few moments to sit and do nothing....if I still remember how.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Keeping my head up

I just realized that I had not posted anything in quite some time. Just busy really. I wish I had more time to blog. I do enjoy writing and reading other blogs. I usually have at least one topic per day that I plan to write about and then "poof"...the day escapes me.

While I am truly blessed to work form home and be home with my kiddies but there is a big price I pay for this luxury. I have to work in the evening. I am usually (always!) spent from running the house and taking care of the kiddies. The Dish usually takes over after dinner where I move to a quiet location to turn on my brilliance. Some days it just does not happen so then I fall behind on my work and thus add to my stress.


The Dish is out of work again. I truly turn into a worry wart when he gets laid off. You'd think I'd be used to it by now. And I should know that somehow and some way, we always make it through. Still with the tough economy, one cannot help but worry.

I finished one month of physical therapy. Even though I went for left knee pain, it ended up being my left hip as well. I was "out of alignment" if I didn't already know that I am "out of balance"...literally! I've been going to physical therapy three times a week and the first few weeks I was lots of pain in my lower back and down the back of my leg. My workouts have been restricted to light cardio and light weights which does not make me happy. I am not good at baby steps.

But I am making progress and now we are working on my knee and I have been able to mini squats and lunges with little or no pain. The therapists are suggesting one more month of three times a week but I'm going to have to cut it back to two times a week and get stuff to do at home. I feel like I am so behind with everything. The house, my work, paperwork.....ugh!

It will get done and I'm trying not to let it kill me.