This year is moving too fast for me. It's already May and it seems like I've barely dented my "to-do" list. I don't feel guilty about it. I just feel like there are so many things undone just hanging above my head.
I've realized that my day is just too full. On most days, I don't sit down to just rest or relax until 10 pm. I'm literally going all day...kids to school, physical therapy, work outs, cooking, cleaning, managing home, managing and work from my business. Lately it feel like I get to start things but never really complete the task. I'll do the laundry and the clean clothes sit in the laundry basket for days. I'll start a declutter project and the remnants are sitting in piles. Don't even get me started on the unread mail, the emails I need to answer, returning phone call, paying bills...ugh! I never seem to get to the little things like signing up the boys for sports and music, marketing my business to more clients and the scrapbooking materials that have been sitting there untouched. No wonder I'm spent at the end of the day and no wonder I'm tired. I think my soul is tired.
That coupled with the stress of the Dish being unemployed...again. Seriously, the union jobs are just not cutting it anymore. For the past 6 years, it's like a part time job. The Dish has been applying everywhere and is even shifting careers now that he has his degree in Criminal Justice. BUT these are hard times and finding a job is very hard.
I try not to stress reminding myself that I'm still working with contracts that afford me a monthly check. I try to remember that we do have savings to fall back on. But how could I not be scared for the future? Most people are and it's contagious. However, we can't make decisions based on fear.
I know I just need to slow down and make more time for myself even if something gets undone. I recently dusted off my books from Marianne Williamson. I love her! She is spiritual versus religious and has an amazing guidance to find calm in this crazy world we live in. I started following her on Twitter and her messages are just what I need to hear right now.
Here are some from today:
Happiness lies in being involved in a process larger than yourself. It's like an umbrella made of anti-gravity, drawing your emotions upward.
When you deflect your good, the universe holds it in trust for you until you are ready to receive it. You only pushed "pause;" start again.
Since you were born with infinite potential, then no matter what you have achieved you've only scratched the surface of your innate ability.
I'm going to make some iced green tea and take a few moments to sit and do nothing....if I still remember how.
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Keeping my head up
I just realized that I had not posted anything in quite some time. Just busy really. I wish I had more time to blog. I do enjoy writing and reading other blogs. I usually have at least one topic per day that I plan to write about and then "poof"...the day escapes me.
While I am truly blessed to work form home and be home with my kiddies but there is a big price I pay for this luxury. I have to work in the evening. I am usually (always!) spent from running the house and taking care of the kiddies. The Dish usually takes over after dinner where I move to a quiet location to turn on my brilliance. Some days it just does not happen so then I fall behind on my work and thus add to my stress.
Stress
Stress
Stress
The Dish is out of work again. I truly turn into a worry wart when he gets laid off. You'd think I'd be used to it by now. And I should know that somehow and some way, we always make it through. Still with the tough economy, one cannot help but worry.
I finished one month of physical therapy. Even though I went for left knee pain, it ended up being my left hip as well. I was "out of alignment"...as if I didn't already know that I am "out of balance"...literally! I've been going to physical therapy three times a week and the first few weeks I was lots of pain in my lower back and down the back of my leg. My workouts have been restricted to light cardio and light weights which does not make me happy. I am not good at baby steps.
But I am making progress and now we are working on my knee and I have been able to mini squats and lunges with little or no pain. The therapists are suggesting one more month of three times a week but I'm going to have to cut it back to two times a week and get stuff to do at home. I feel like I am so behind with everything. The house, my work, paperwork.....ugh!
It will get done and I'm trying not to let it kill me.
While I am truly blessed to work form home and be home with my kiddies but there is a big price I pay for this luxury. I have to work in the evening. I am usually (always!) spent from running the house and taking care of the kiddies. The Dish usually takes over after dinner where I move to a quiet location to turn on my brilliance. Some days it just does not happen so then I fall behind on my work and thus add to my stress.
Stress
Stress
Stress
The Dish is out of work again. I truly turn into a worry wart when he gets laid off. You'd think I'd be used to it by now. And I should know that somehow and some way, we always make it through. Still with the tough economy, one cannot help but worry.
I finished one month of physical therapy. Even though I went for left knee pain, it ended up being my left hip as well. I was "out of alignment"...as if I didn't already know that I am "out of balance"...literally! I've been going to physical therapy three times a week and the first few weeks I was lots of pain in my lower back and down the back of my leg. My workouts have been restricted to light cardio and light weights which does not make me happy. I am not good at baby steps.
But I am making progress and now we are working on my knee and I have been able to mini squats and lunges with little or no pain. The therapists are suggesting one more month of three times a week but I'm going to have to cut it back to two times a week and get stuff to do at home. I feel like I am so behind with everything. The house, my work, paperwork.....ugh!
It will get done and I'm trying not to let it kill me.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Vacation is all I ever wanted....
I'm getting ready to book a vacation! Both of my sons have spring break together at the end of March and I thought it would be a good time to take a vacation. We wanted to go to Puerto Rico to visit my father-in-law but the airfare is so expensive and even with the cheaper fares (under $400), it's about a 8 - 10 hour trip with at least one stop and layover. With two young boys, I don't think so.
We got a super deal from a friend in the travel industry for Mexico...one-week, air, hotel and all-inclusive...all meals and drinks for a super price. I was trying to avoid places where we would be subjected to college spring-breakers. No offense...I hope they all have a wonderful time but I have also witnessed less than decent behavior that I do not wish to subject my family to. So we are going to Huatulco...a quiet, eco-friendly beach resort town south of Acapulco. I've always wanted to go there! We leave in less than four weeks!
Of course, the next four weeks is saturated with work obligations. I just met with a new client this morning and I have a HUGE grant due in two weeks! It's a government grant which are beasts to prepare. The writing is the easy part....it's all of the the budgets, addendums and certifications you have to attach with it. It can make you crazy. I have a love-dread affection for my work in this arena. While I love the challenge of tackling a detailed proposal..some of the content can cause pure anxiety. BUT this is the nature of this field and I am good at what I do. The best part is that after two weeks, it's done, I get paid and I get a break.....this time a vacation!
Right now I am going to sit down and write a work plan for the project. I do much better with a plan. Included in the plan is also my family and personal stuff that will also demand my attention and last but not least, getting in those workouts and my nutrition.
Not only will I need that for my health, sanity and well being...I have to look hot for vacation! LOL!
We got a super deal from a friend in the travel industry for Mexico...one-week, air, hotel and all-inclusive...all meals and drinks for a super price. I was trying to avoid places where we would be subjected to college spring-breakers. No offense...I hope they all have a wonderful time but I have also witnessed less than decent behavior that I do not wish to subject my family to. So we are going to Huatulco...a quiet, eco-friendly beach resort town south of Acapulco. I've always wanted to go there! We leave in less than four weeks!
Of course, the next four weeks is saturated with work obligations. I just met with a new client this morning and I have a HUGE grant due in two weeks! It's a government grant which are beasts to prepare. The writing is the easy part....it's all of the the budgets, addendums and certifications you have to attach with it. It can make you crazy. I have a love-dread affection for my work in this arena. While I love the challenge of tackling a detailed proposal..some of the content can cause pure anxiety. BUT this is the nature of this field and I am good at what I do. The best part is that after two weeks, it's done, I get paid and I get a break.....this time a vacation!
Right now I am going to sit down and write a work plan for the project. I do much better with a plan. Included in the plan is also my family and personal stuff that will also demand my attention and last but not least, getting in those workouts and my nutrition.
Not only will I need that for my health, sanity and well being...I have to look hot for vacation! LOL!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
It happens everytime
I'm throwing myself a little birthday party this Saturday with a Mardi Gras theme. Of course, I also have a big client report due by next week.
I was up to 1:00 am working last night and here I sit trying to do some data entry and I can hardly keep awake.
I HAVE to do a little bit more!
I was up to 1:00 am working last night and here I sit trying to do some data entry and I can hardly keep awake.
I HAVE to do a little bit more!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Finding my Friday
The is the end of a week that seemed to kick my ass. I was pretty lucky this winter in that both my kids were not sick like they were last year. Marco had one cold a few months back and Diego remained healthy and had not missed a day of school. It's not to say that Diego has not had his share of health woes...most of which he exaggerates. He tend to get dramatic over a simple scratch. While I give my share of motherly sympathy of his aches and pains, I sometimes have to downplay every other complaint or he tends to keep going.
Last week he kept complaining of a mosquito bite to which I kept reminding him that it was the middle of winter and that there are no mosquito at this time of year. He did show me what look like a few little bites. There were maybe 3 of them on his chest so I applied some herbal salve on it and let it heal. I also washed all of his bedding and vacuumed his bed to ensure that there were no creatures sharing his bed. Ew!
Last Friday, there was a message on my phone from the school nurse. It seems Diego had been seeing the nurse almost daily for his rash/bites. Because of his consistent complaints, the school wanted to me to get the rash/bites checked out and to get a note from the doctor clearing him of any "cooties". Great. Previously, I had a note from his teacher letting me know how much he visits the school nurse in general. Again, for every scratch, ache, etc. We had a long talk about this and he agreed to keep his nurse visits to a minimum. Or at least to let me know so I know what's ailing him.
Since it was the weekend, I ended up going to one of those clinics at Walgreen's that have nurse practitioners. I utilized this service on more than one occasion especially when it's the weekend or after hours. The service is great, it's quick (usually), my insurance covers it and my child does not have to suffer or go to the ER. So on Sunday we went to the clinic around noon. Well it was one of those days where everyone was sick so there was a three hour wait BUT the receptionist was kind enough to check us in, tell us to go home and come back at a designated time.
It turns out that they didn't even know what the rash/bite was but it was indeed healing. I already knew this but I still needed a note so he could go to school on Monday. Once we got home he started complaining that he did not feel good. Again, I try to make sure he is okay..no fever... without letting him too dramatic over it. It's hard call because, of course, I want to take care of my baby and I do not want my child to be ill but I also know how he can get. Argh!
On Monday morning I could see in eyes that he was not well and he had a scratchy throat, fever, etc. That was the same morning that the painters we hired were coming over to paint all of the trim, windows and doors plus the family room and second bath over the best two days. It is amazing what I juggle when I have to.
Diego stayed home from school on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. On Wednesday, he was feeling better and running all over the place so I sent him to school on Thursday. He said he was feeling much better and that if he starting feeling bad he would go to the school nurse...ugh! He came home from school and seemed to be feeling better. He did his home work, ate dinner, took a bath and he seemed fine.
UNTIL 4:oo am this morning where he came to me and let me know that his ear was hurting. I got up, gave him some ibuprofen and sent him back to bed. When we got up for school, it was apparent that he still was not feeling well so I called his doctor. Turns out that they did not have open appointments in the morning so I would either have to travel 50 miles to their other office or wait until Monday SO back to the clinic I went. There was no wait but I still have my other son, Marco, with me who is very busy and has a hard time sitting still.
The nurse checked his ears and he has a double ear infection. Sigh! The good part is that the pharmacy is right there...how convenient and what a brilliant business idea. We got some antibiotics and the nurse told him to drink lots of water and to get some rest.
It's hard to get a 5-year old to rest. He get bored, he get whiny and I am totally wiped out. I rented some movies so that seemed to help a bit. He is laying on the couch next to me wrapped in his blanket and looking tired. I keep checking on him.
Now my other son is starting to cough. Here we go again.
Happy Friday!
Last week he kept complaining of a mosquito bite to which I kept reminding him that it was the middle of winter and that there are no mosquito at this time of year. He did show me what look like a few little bites. There were maybe 3 of them on his chest so I applied some herbal salve on it and let it heal. I also washed all of his bedding and vacuumed his bed to ensure that there were no creatures sharing his bed. Ew!
Last Friday, there was a message on my phone from the school nurse. It seems Diego had been seeing the nurse almost daily for his rash/bites. Because of his consistent complaints, the school wanted to me to get the rash/bites checked out and to get a note from the doctor clearing him of any "cooties". Great. Previously, I had a note from his teacher letting me know how much he visits the school nurse in general. Again, for every scratch, ache, etc. We had a long talk about this and he agreed to keep his nurse visits to a minimum. Or at least to let me know so I know what's ailing him.
Since it was the weekend, I ended up going to one of those clinics at Walgreen's that have nurse practitioners. I utilized this service on more than one occasion especially when it's the weekend or after hours. The service is great, it's quick (usually), my insurance covers it and my child does not have to suffer or go to the ER. So on Sunday we went to the clinic around noon. Well it was one of those days where everyone was sick so there was a three hour wait BUT the receptionist was kind enough to check us in, tell us to go home and come back at a designated time.
It turns out that they didn't even know what the rash/bite was but it was indeed healing. I already knew this but I still needed a note so he could go to school on Monday. Once we got home he started complaining that he did not feel good. Again, I try to make sure he is okay..no fever... without letting him too dramatic over it. It's hard call because, of course, I want to take care of my baby and I do not want my child to be ill but I also know how he can get. Argh!
On Monday morning I could see in eyes that he was not well and he had a scratchy throat, fever, etc. That was the same morning that the painters we hired were coming over to paint all of the trim, windows and doors plus the family room and second bath over the best two days. It is amazing what I juggle when I have to.
Diego stayed home from school on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. On Wednesday, he was feeling better and running all over the place so I sent him to school on Thursday. He said he was feeling much better and that if he starting feeling bad he would go to the school nurse...ugh! He came home from school and seemed to be feeling better. He did his home work, ate dinner, took a bath and he seemed fine.
UNTIL 4:oo am this morning where he came to me and let me know that his ear was hurting. I got up, gave him some ibuprofen and sent him back to bed. When we got up for school, it was apparent that he still was not feeling well so I called his doctor. Turns out that they did not have open appointments in the morning so I would either have to travel 50 miles to their other office or wait until Monday SO back to the clinic I went. There was no wait but I still have my other son, Marco, with me who is very busy and has a hard time sitting still.
The nurse checked his ears and he has a double ear infection. Sigh! The good part is that the pharmacy is right there...how convenient and what a brilliant business idea. We got some antibiotics and the nurse told him to drink lots of water and to get some rest.
It's hard to get a 5-year old to rest. He get bored, he get whiny and I am totally wiped out. I rented some movies so that seemed to help a bit. He is laying on the couch next to me wrapped in his blanket and looking tired. I keep checking on him.
Now my other son is starting to cough. Here we go again.
Happy Friday!
Friday, January 9, 2009
The weekend is upon us...and a dry one
It's Friday afternoon. It's been a good week. I worked out 6 days. Not like a crazy person. Good intense workouts...25 minutes of HIIT cardio or 40 minutes of weight training...75 minute yoga class. Tomorrow is a rest day. The nutrition was on target..clean, good proteins, lots of veggies. Feeling good. Feeling focused.
Now the weekend is here and this is where I usually screw up...and it's usually not from eating...it's drinking. Yes, this girl loves her wine, and her beer, a margarita, a sassy martini. BUT these are empty calories and I know it...plus I just know it screws with my metabolism and makes me retain water. Ugh! I wish it were not true but it is. I believe it's the one thing that has thwarted my efforts to get into shape and sabotage all of my hard work.
And I am working hard...planning my meals and workouts...working up a daily sweat. So why would I want to mess up my week by throwing back a few stiff drinks...because I like it...LOL! But I won't...at least not today and not tomorrow.
On Sunday we are supposed to go to a friend's annual post-holiday party. At this writing, I am not planning any alcohol consumption. The plan is club soda..it's a good plan.
It's supposed to snow 4 - 8 inches and then turn bitter cold. That means we might be stuck at home...me, hubby, my mom ( who lives with me) and my two sons...age 4 and 5. UGH! I know, I know...I need to find another fix for stress besides generous libations. I SHOULD jump on the
treadmill for a nice run...I know! {{{{deep breath}}}
One day at a time...or in my case, it will be evaluated hourly...LOL!
Now the weekend is here and this is where I usually screw up...and it's usually not from eating...it's drinking. Yes, this girl loves her wine, and her beer, a margarita, a sassy martini. BUT these are empty calories and I know it...plus I just know it screws with my metabolism and makes me retain water. Ugh! I wish it were not true but it is. I believe it's the one thing that has thwarted my efforts to get into shape and sabotage all of my hard work.
And I am working hard...planning my meals and workouts...working up a daily sweat. So why would I want to mess up my week by throwing back a few stiff drinks...because I like it...LOL! But I won't...at least not today and not tomorrow.
On Sunday we are supposed to go to a friend's annual post-holiday party. At this writing, I am not planning any alcohol consumption. The plan is club soda..it's a good plan.
It's supposed to snow 4 - 8 inches and then turn bitter cold. That means we might be stuck at home...me, hubby, my mom ( who lives with me) and my two sons...age 4 and 5. UGH! I know, I know...I need to find another fix for stress besides generous libations. I SHOULD jump on the
treadmill for a nice run...I know! {{{{deep breath}}}
One day at a time...or in my case, it will be evaluated hourly...LOL!
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