Flyby

This year is moving too fast for me. It's already May and it seems like I've barely dented my "to-do" list. I don't feel guilty about it. I just feel like there are so many things undone just hanging above my head.

I've realized that my day is just too full. On most days, I don't sit down to just rest or relax until 10 pm. I'm literally going all day...kids to school, physical therapy, work outs, cooking, cleaning, managing home, managing and work from my business. Lately it feel like I get to start things but never really complete the task. I'll do the laundry and the clean clothes sit in the laundry basket for days. I'll start a declutter project and the remnants are sitting in piles. Don't even get me started on the unread mail, the emails I need to answer, returning phone call, paying bills...ugh! I never seem to get to the little things like signing up the boys for sports and music, marketing my business to more clients and the scrapbooking materials that have been sitting there untouched. No wonder I'm spent at the end of the day and no wonder I'm tired. I think my soul is tired.

That coupled with the stress of the Dish being unemployed...again. Seriously, the union jobs are just not cutting it anymore. For the past 6 years, it's like a part time job. The Dish has been applying everywhere and is even shifting careers now that he has his degree in Criminal Justice. BUT these are hard times and finding a job is very hard.

I try not to stress reminding myself that I'm still working with contracts that afford me a monthly check. I try to remember that we do have savings to fall back on. But how could I not be scared for the future? Most people are and it's contagious. However, we can't make decisions based on fear.

I know I just need to slow down and make more time for myself even if something gets undone. I recently dusted off my books from Marianne Williamson. I love her! She is spiritual versus religious and has an amazing guidance to find calm in this crazy world we live in. I started following her on Twitter and her messages are just what I need to hear right now.

Here are some from today:

Happiness lies in being involved in a process larger than yourself. It's like an umbrella made of anti-gravity, drawing your emotions upward.

When you deflect your good, the universe holds it in trust for you until you are ready to receive it. You only pushed "pause;" start again.

Since you were born with infinite potential, then no matter what you have achieved you've only scratched the surface of your innate ability.

I'm going to make some iced green tea and take a few moments to sit and do nothing....if I still remember how.

Vacation is all I ever wanted....

I'm getting ready to book a vacation! Both of my sons have spring break together at the end of March and I thought it would be a good time to take a vacation. We wanted to go to Puerto Rico to visit my father-in-law but the airfare is so expensive and even with the cheaper fares (under $400), it's about a 8 - 10 hour trip with at least one stop and layover. With two young boys, I don't think so.

We got a super deal from a friend in the travel industry for Mexico...one-week, air, hotel and all-inclusive...all meals and drinks for a super price. I was trying to avoid places where we would be subjected to college spring-breakers. No offense...I hope they all have a wonderful time but I have also witnessed less than decent behavior that I do not wish to subject my family to. So we are going to Huatulco...a quiet, eco-friendly beach resort town south of Acapulco. I've always wanted to go there! We leave in less than four weeks!

Of course, the next four weeks is saturated with work obligations. I just met with a new client this morning and I have a HUGE grant due in two weeks! It's a government grant which are beasts to prepare. The writing is the easy part....it's all of the the budgets, addendums and certifications you have to attach with it. It can make you crazy. I have a love-dread affection for my work in this arena. While I love the challenge of tackling a detailed proposal..some of the content can cause pure anxiety. BUT this is the nature of this field and I am good at what I do. The best part is that after two weeks, it's done, I get paid and I get a break.....this time a vacation!

Right now I am going to sit down and write a work plan for the project. I do much better with a plan. Included in the plan is also my family and personal stuff that will also demand my attention and last but not least, getting in those workouts and my nutrition.

Not only will I need that for my health, sanity and well being...I have to look hot for vacation! LOL!

Finding my Friday

The is the end of a week that seemed to kick my ass. I was pretty lucky this winter in that both my kids were not sick like they were last year. Marco had one cold a few months back and Diego remained healthy and had not missed a day of school. It's not to say that Diego has not had his share of health woes...most of which he exaggerates. He tend to get dramatic over a simple scratch. While I give my share of motherly sympathy of his aches and pains, I sometimes have to downplay every other complaint or he tends to keep going.

Last week he kept complaining of a mosquito bite to which I kept reminding him that it was the middle of winter and that there are no mosquito at this time of year. He did show me what look like a few little bites. There were maybe 3 of them on his chest so I applied some herbal salve on it and let it heal. I also washed all of his bedding and vacuumed his bed to ensure that there were no creatures sharing his bed. Ew!

Last Friday, there was a message on my phone from the school nurse. It seems Diego had been seeing the nurse almost daily for his rash/bites. Because of his consistent complaints, the school wanted to me to get the rash/bites checked out and to get a note from the doctor clearing him of any "cooties". Great. Previously, I had a note from his teacher letting me know how much he visits the school nurse in general. Again, for every scratch, ache, etc. We had a long talk about this and he agreed to keep his nurse visits to a minimum. Or at least to let me know so I know what's ailing him.

Since it was the weekend, I ended up going to one of those clinics at Walgreen's that have nurse practitioners. I utilized this service on more than one occasion especially when it's the weekend or after hours. The service is great, it's quick (usually), my insurance covers it and my child does not have to suffer or go to the ER. So on Sunday we went to the clinic around noon. Well it was one of those days where everyone was sick so there was a three hour wait BUT the receptionist was kind enough to check us in, tell us to go home and come back at a designated time.

It turns out that they didn't even know what the rash/bite was but it was indeed healing. I already knew this but I still needed a note so he could go to school on Monday. Once we got home he started complaining that he did not feel good. Again, I try to make sure he is okay..no fever... without letting him too dramatic over it. It's hard call because, of course, I want to take care of my baby and I do not want my child to be ill but I also know how he can get. Argh!

On Monday morning I could see in eyes that he was not well and he had a scratchy throat, fever, etc. That was the same morning that the painters we hired were coming over to paint all of the trim, windows and doors plus the family room and second bath over the best two days. It is amazing what I juggle when I have to.

Diego stayed home from school on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. On Wednesday, he was feeling better and running all over the place so I sent him to school on Thursday. He said he was feeling much better and that if he starting feeling bad he would go to the school nurse...ugh! He came home from school and seemed to be feeling better. He did his home work, ate dinner, took a bath and he seemed fine.

UNTIL 4:oo am this morning where he came to me and let me know that his ear was hurting. I got up, gave him some ibuprofen and sent him back to bed. When we got up for school, it was apparent that he still was not feeling well so I called his doctor. Turns out that they did not have open appointments in the morning so I would either have to travel 50 miles to their other office or wait until Monday SO back to the clinic I went. There was no wait but I still have my other son, Marco, with me who is very busy and has a hard time sitting still.

The nurse checked his ears and he has a double ear infection. Sigh! The good part is that the pharmacy is right there...how convenient and what a brilliant business idea. We got some antibiotics and the nurse told him to drink lots of water and to get some rest.

It's hard to get a 5-year old to rest. He get bored, he get whiny and I am totally wiped out. I rented some movies so that seemed to help a bit. He is laying on the couch next to me wrapped in his blanket and looking tired. I keep checking on him.

Now my other son is starting to cough. Here we go again.

Happy Friday!

it's hard to blog when...

...you have painters in your house painting and furniture it piled in rooms where it does not belong. I'm smiling on the inside and looking forward to freshly painted walls, doors and trim to go with the new flooring.

Other projects for February:
Continue to declutter kitchen and living room: 70% complete.
Sort/Purge 2 boxes of personal papers: 30% complete.
Sort/Purge one drawer of client files: begin this week
Sort/Purge one box of kiddie toys: begin this week.

That's this month.

My son is sick with a slight cold and had his first absence from school. He was not feeling well over the weekend. He stayed home from school yesterday and today. My younger son has a field trip this morning. He was so excited. I was supposed to go with him and chaperon but I had to cancel so I could be home with D.

Yesterday they were both home with me. I spent most of the day trying to keep them out of the painter's way and making sure they didn't touch the parts of the house that had wet paint. Which was most of the house as they had tackled most of the trim, doors and window sills...ugh! I was so tired yesterday.

Yesterday was Groundhog Day/Candlemas Day. It's s day to "clean" your home and welcome the sun. I usually light candles in every room in the house and burn sage but with the paint fumes...I figured I'd better wait.

It was also me and the Dish's 11-year anniversary of being together. We will be married 10 years this June! Time flies....

On this Historic Day

I was so looking forward to today. It was truly a historic moment...not just because we have our first African-American/Black President...he's half white too, ya know? But because what we have is a people's president. We have not had a president like that in a long time...or as far as I have lived...ever. I call him a touchable President because even when taking the oath, you did not see some staunch person armed with his golden spoon up his butt ready to relay the affects of the previous domination. No, you did not see that. You saw a real person...a man who has walked the shoes not only of the "have-not's" and as a man of color who has endured and overcome all of the obstacles that those before him have witnessed.

I also saw "the doubters"and "the haters" today and I felt sorry for them. Not because they don't like Obama or don't get Obama because they could NOT, for one moment, witness the glory of this moment. A moment of hope...could you not see that hope in the faces of the people in that crowd? What is wrong with that? Why are we not allowed to have hope? In these past years with for all that we have endured under the Bush administration, today we are hopeful...er, at least I am. We are not naive. We are not stupid. We believe that this man, our new President, can lead our nation in a new direction. We need a new direction. Our country is ready for a new direction. And I believe that President Obama (and I get chills when I say this out loud) can deliver what he promised.

We needed something different, people! The old school politics do not work anymore, not that they ever have...at least not now! Look at us! Look at what we can be! He did not proclaim to do it alone. He commissioned all of us to help and we should. Why would we think one man could fix the evils of the past?

We have elected the right man for the right time. I am happy and all of you sulkers will NOT take that away for me.

TODAY I watched all of the new coverage from this morning until the President took his oath. TODAY I cried with pride. TODAY I picked up my son from school watching all of the students in a buzz of excitement as they were allowed to watch the inauguration at school. TODAY I made a special inauguration dinner for my family....fillet, garlic scallops, mushroom risotto, champagne and blueberry lemon pound cake. I served it in style and even gave the kiddies lemonade mixed with club soda in a champagne flute so they could feel the significance of the moment. And I really didn't need to push the agenda. My five-year-old son came to dinner in a tie. Yes, he gets it.

It wasn't so bad

2008 is over and for the first time, in a long time, I can honestly say that it was a good year. While the previous year's had their trials, challenges and stresses, I still do not call them bad years. Yes, they were hard...I was so stressed, but who doesn't have THAT kind of period in your life when it all seems so hard...and even hopeless. When you feel like everything in out of control so you try even harder to control it only to exhaust yourself...feeling totally burned out.

I'm not saying that last year did not have its moments but somehow I felt more equip to handle them. Is that what goes with getting older? Maybe. I think much had to do with the fact that I started taking better care of myself and putting some of my own needs first.

This was the first year that I kept up with my fitness and nutrition stuff. It's such a HUGE part of my life right now...finally. I've finally learned that it will never be perfect...I will never be perfect BUT everything I do is one step to taking better care of me.

I still have a long way to go and I like that. I want to keep learning and to keep progressing. I am excited about this year...not just for the health stuff, but for my marriage, my children, my family and friends, my business...my whole life.

I don't know how long this feeling will last but I am going to revel in it for as long as I can.