Flyby

This year is moving too fast for me. It's already May and it seems like I've barely dented my "to-do" list. I don't feel guilty about it. I just feel like there are so many things undone just hanging above my head.

I've realized that my day is just too full. On most days, I don't sit down to just rest or relax until 10 pm. I'm literally going all day...kids to school, physical therapy, work outs, cooking, cleaning, managing home, managing and work from my business. Lately it feel like I get to start things but never really complete the task. I'll do the laundry and the clean clothes sit in the laundry basket for days. I'll start a declutter project and the remnants are sitting in piles. Don't even get me started on the unread mail, the emails I need to answer, returning phone call, paying bills...ugh! I never seem to get to the little things like signing up the boys for sports and music, marketing my business to more clients and the scrapbooking materials that have been sitting there untouched. No wonder I'm spent at the end of the day and no wonder I'm tired. I think my soul is tired.

That coupled with the stress of the Dish being unemployed...again. Seriously, the union jobs are just not cutting it anymore. For the past 6 years, it's like a part time job. The Dish has been applying everywhere and is even shifting careers now that he has his degree in Criminal Justice. BUT these are hard times and finding a job is very hard.

I try not to stress reminding myself that I'm still working with contracts that afford me a monthly check. I try to remember that we do have savings to fall back on. But how could I not be scared for the future? Most people are and it's contagious. However, we can't make decisions based on fear.

I know I just need to slow down and make more time for myself even if something gets undone. I recently dusted off my books from Marianne Williamson. I love her! She is spiritual versus religious and has an amazing guidance to find calm in this crazy world we live in. I started following her on Twitter and her messages are just what I need to hear right now.

Here are some from today:

Happiness lies in being involved in a process larger than yourself. It's like an umbrella made of anti-gravity, drawing your emotions upward.

When you deflect your good, the universe holds it in trust for you until you are ready to receive it. You only pushed "pause;" start again.

Since you were born with infinite potential, then no matter what you have achieved you've only scratched the surface of your innate ability.

I'm going to make some iced green tea and take a few moments to sit and do nothing....if I still remember how.

New Things on the Horizon

A package was delivered by the mailman today...it's the Dish's new meds. He'll start LDN tonight! The only side effect that he may encounter the first week is vivid dreams or nightmares. Today may be the start of good things for him. I'm tweaking his diet just a bit. The doctor recommends the SWANK diet which is an MS diet. Basically a diet low in saturated fat and red meat...high in veggies, fruit, lean protein and whole grains and good fats...olive oil, nuts, etc. I'm really hoping that the doctor can convince him to start getting some exercise. Because he has such a physical job, he's too tired to workout when he gets home BUT that doesn't mean he doesn't need it. Now that the weather is getting warmer, I know I can get him to at least take a bike ride with me!

This morning I interviewed a personal trainer! I've NEVER trained with a trainer before. I intended to interview a few trainers but I really liked her and she has such similar health views as me such as nutrition, weight training and yoga. PLUS she is funny and we were already laughing and joking around BUT she knew how to get us back on focus too!

I, of course, went back and forth in my head as to whether I should even spend money on this as with the way the economy is going, I feel the need to be frugal. But then I thought, this is an investment in myself. I NEED to lose more weight and I am stuck. I'm only going to train with her twice a week for a month and then assess it from there...both financially and how I progress.

I've been doing the fitness thing for so long by myself and the trainer was very impressed by how much I know, what I eat, how I workout, etc. I just need some fine tuning and to kick it up a BIG notch. I'm sure I have not pushed myself to the limits. Sure, I made great progress with lifting weights and I workout to a good sweat and feel like I've done something. But to really push it...I really don't know how to do that. So what better way than to try out a trainer? At the very least, I want her to check out my form...why lift if I'm not doing it correctly? She is also going to make cardio fun! huh? Plyometrics, kick boxing, circuits...oh my!

I start this Thursday!

Other good news, with the Recovery package, I am being swarmed with consulting requests! Wow! That's a good thing...I'm going to need the work to afford the training. Seriously, I feel very blessed.

Vacation is all I ever wanted....

I'm getting ready to book a vacation! Both of my sons have spring break together at the end of March and I thought it would be a good time to take a vacation. We wanted to go to Puerto Rico to visit my father-in-law but the airfare is so expensive and even with the cheaper fares (under $400), it's about a 8 - 10 hour trip with at least one stop and layover. With two young boys, I don't think so.

We got a super deal from a friend in the travel industry for Mexico...one-week, air, hotel and all-inclusive...all meals and drinks for a super price. I was trying to avoid places where we would be subjected to college spring-breakers. No offense...I hope they all have a wonderful time but I have also witnessed less than decent behavior that I do not wish to subject my family to. So we are going to Huatulco...a quiet, eco-friendly beach resort town south of Acapulco. I've always wanted to go there! We leave in less than four weeks!

Of course, the next four weeks is saturated with work obligations. I just met with a new client this morning and I have a HUGE grant due in two weeks! It's a government grant which are beasts to prepare. The writing is the easy part....it's all of the the budgets, addendums and certifications you have to attach with it. It can make you crazy. I have a love-dread affection for my work in this arena. While I love the challenge of tackling a detailed proposal..some of the content can cause pure anxiety. BUT this is the nature of this field and I am good at what I do. The best part is that after two weeks, it's done, I get paid and I get a break.....this time a vacation!

Right now I am going to sit down and write a work plan for the project. I do much better with a plan. Included in the plan is also my family and personal stuff that will also demand my attention and last but not least, getting in those workouts and my nutrition.

Not only will I need that for my health, sanity and well being...I have to look hot for vacation! LOL!

I should be sleeping

I am sitting here trying to catch up on reading my friends and fav's and my eyes are sleepy. it seems by Thursday night, I am wiped out from the week's activities.

I went to the doctor's a few weeks back fro my annual physical. I am happy to report that my weight continues to go down...slowly...and my cholesterol was a happy 165!

My left knee has been bugging me so my doc scheduled a separate appointment so she could thoroughly examine my knee. Yes, my doctor is thorough and I love her for that. My left knee started acting up last year and it wasn't even painful. It just felt weak and it would give out on me once in awhile and more so when I exercised. I did some strengthening exercised on my legs muscles to support my knees and it seemed to be getting better. But about six months ago, that same knee started to hurt just a bit when I worked out or climbed stairs. I go do yoga fine, and squats and cardio without any pain but if I did lunges, it would hurt. So the obvious thing would be to avoid lunges BUT I love them and I really do not want to have limitations to my leg workouts.

The doc didn't notice anything really bad during the exam but there was a clunking noise going on when she's bend my left leg. She's glad that I'm treating it early before it gets worse. She wants me to get an x-ray and to wear a band when I work out and avoid lunges or anything that hurts for now. She may also send me to physical therapy to see if I can strengthen the knee more. Of course, I know that losing 20 more lbs would do me some good as well and I am working on that.

I am tired and obviously getting old.

It's a big deal to me!

This year instead of setting new year's resolutions on losing weight, I set my sights on developing healthy habits for both nutrition and fitness. If you have healthy habits then it will result in a healthier body and thus a smaller size. That's my new philosophy anyways.

So four weeks into the new year and I am doing well. I have not, and will not, weigh myself. The scale and I have never been friends. I did take measurements in December and I plan on doing that monthly. My biggest gauge is my pants and they are getting looser so that's good.

My nutrition has been really good. I am eating 5 - 6 times a day...clean and balanced. I do have a cheat meal once a week. Weekends are more of a challenge because we usually have something social going on but I am doing my best. This weekend we went to my husband's cousin's daughter's birthday party at Chuck E Cheese...a child's dream place and an adult's nightmare...LOL! When it came time for cake, I knew what was going to happen. Why is it a sin to refuse cake? Especially if it's cake that I don't even like. If I'm going to waste calories, it's not going to be on something I don't like. Yes, I am becoming a calorie snob. Especially on a treat. So my husband's family is pushing cake and I'm using all of the excuses "I'm full!" "Maybe later". Geesh! Why do folks get insulted if you don't have the cake? I stuck to my guns...no cake!

Now the good part. It's no big deal but I'm just happy! I am working on my push-ups! Not on the knees but real push-ups. I train upper body twice a week and lower body twice a week. On upper body days, I'm working on three sets of push-ups. I am currently reading "The New Rules Of Lifting for Women" and it suggests doing push-ups at all levels: wall, step, ball, floor. So I started doing them on my stairs. First I got up to 3 set of 15 on the fourth stair from the bottom, then worked to 3 set of 15 on third stair and last week I did three sets of 8 on the second stair! Yes! I am getting stronger and that makes me feel so good to see even the smallest progress. So I will work on these until I can do 15 and then start mixing in push-ups on the first stair and soon I'll be doing them on the floor! Baby steps but I am lifting heavier weights than I ever have and my HIIT cardio is improving as well.

Building healthy habits one step (yes, a pun!) at a time!

The lessons I have learned - Part 1

I am a big fan of the Biggest Loser. I like the fact that it shows that with proper nutrition and exercise, you can lose weight. No magic pills..no quick fix. Well obviously the show is an exaggerated version of fitness. You, too, would be successful if you trained for 6 hours a day and had someone prepare your meals...micro nutrient perfection. BUT it is indeed a testimony as to what can be done.

This season really hits home. These contestants are the heaviest in the show's history with the heaviest woman weighing in at 379. The significance is that it is a snapshot of our country's population and our country's obesity problem...or shall I say epidemic? It is epidemic in that the obesity epidemic is slowly lowering our life expectancy rate. We as adults may live longer than our children and there is something very disturbing and wrong about that.

I have a fought my weight my entire life. I am finally coming to terms with where I have failed. Not in failing to to lose weight but for failing to make my health my number one priority. Never before has it become more clear that it's never been about food but the lack of balance in my life. That is Lesson #1...find your balance! Not to quote Oprah but I could totally relate to what she's said on her show last week and in her webcast.

What bothers me about Oprah's new quest for health is the the marketing ploy that comes with the message. I applaud her efforts to take care of herself and her honesty about "falling off the wagon". I think she has a good plan..both for fitness and for nutrition BUT there is no one-size-fits all diet or workout plan for anyone. That is lesson #2...find what works for you! They will sell many of Bob's (her trainer) books because people look up to Oprah and take her advice to the "T". Maybe that is a good thing BUT you have to find what works for you.

It is trial and error to find out how many calories you need to eat, how much protein you need, how many calories you need to burn, etc. I'm still learning and I need to re-evaluate every month such as changing my weight training routine every 4 weeks or seeing where I can improve my nutrition.

That brings me to Lesson #3..be consistent. When I took a shot at this last year I got some good advice. Give it some time! Don't quit even if you fall...get back up! It took 4 weeks to see some real results but it was working. I did lose weight abut then I got stuck.

These are my lessons but I share them because I had read other people's lessons and it really helped me find my own. I'm here, I'm doing this and I am in this for life. Even if I just lose a pound a month there will be no turning back. Which brings me to Lesson #4 Reward progress not perfection!

To be continued.....

Validation

So a new JournalSpace was born this morning. WOW! It's a bit different but there is a Home page and some cool features. If they offer up a fav's only feature, I will be way happy. For now, I am keeping this blog for health and fitness stuff and I will use JS for life and stuff that I used to. I was not planning on having two blogs but I am keeping my options open.

I did got othat holiday party yesterday and I DID NOT have any alcohol. Yes, I did indulge in some party fare but in moderation. I was so proud of myself and I even worked out in the morning. I still had fun..LOL! and when I was leaving, the host and my dear friend, pulled me to the side and told me" You look really great! What every you are doing, keep doing it."

Validation! YES1

The weekend is upon us...and a dry one

It's Friday afternoon. It's been a good week. I worked out 6 days. Not like a crazy person. Good intense workouts...25 minutes of HIIT cardio or 40 minutes of weight training...75 minute yoga class. Tomorrow is a rest day. The nutrition was on target..clean, good proteins, lots of veggies. Feeling good. Feeling focused.

Now the weekend is here and this is where I usually screw up...and it's usually not from eating...it's drinking. Yes, this girl loves her wine, and her beer, a margarita, a sassy martini. BUT these are empty calories and I know it...plus I just know it screws with my metabolism and makes me retain water. Ugh! I wish it were not true but it is. I believe it's the one thing that has thwarted my efforts to get into shape and sabotage all of my hard work.

And I am working hard...planning my meals and workouts...working up a daily sweat. So why would I want to mess up my week by throwing back a few stiff drinks...because I like it...LOL! But I won't...at least not today and not tomorrow.
On Sunday we are supposed to go to a friend's annual post-holiday party. At this writing, I am not planning any alcohol consumption. The plan is club soda..it's a good plan.

It's supposed to snow 4 - 8 inches and then turn bitter cold. That means we might be stuck at home...me, hubby, my mom ( who lives with me) and my two sons...age 4 and 5. UGH! I know, I know...I need to find another fix for stress besides generous libations. I SHOULD jump on the
treadmill for a nice run...I know! {{{{deep breath}}}

One day at a time...or in my case, it will be evaluated hourly...LOL!

No excuses when you have this!

This is a panoramic view of my home gym...weight set (a gift from my hubby on the left, elliptical and treadmill
This is the weight bench set...it is sweet! It barely clears the ceiling.

I have a complete gym so I have no excuses not to work out. Up until about June last year, I was working out here about 5 times a week. The best streak I had was when I was getting up early, before the kiddies woke up, and getting my workout done first thing. For some reason, summer is harder for me to hit the weights. Then in July I discovered Power Yoga! Love it...it's a full body workout...intense and in a heated room...a good sweat. Throughout the summer, I was going to yoga about 3 times a week, biking and keeping up with the kiddies.

I'm still going to yoga about twice a week. And last month I got my ass back in gear and back in to my weight training routine. I really have no excuses. Any excuse I can come up with will now be deemed "LAME". Even If I just have 20 minutes, I can get so much done.

My January routine:
weight training 3x per week - Push day/ Pull day/ Leg day
Cardio HIIT training on treadmill or elliptical - 3x per week
Power yoga - 2 x per week

I'm back to clean eating again and I feel so much better. It's a good start!

It wasn't so bad

2008 is over and for the first time, in a long time, I can honestly say that it was a good year. While the previous year's had their trials, challenges and stresses, I still do not call them bad years. Yes, they were hard...I was so stressed, but who doesn't have THAT kind of period in your life when it all seems so hard...and even hopeless. When you feel like everything in out of control so you try even harder to control it only to exhaust yourself...feeling totally burned out.

I'm not saying that last year did not have its moments but somehow I felt more equip to handle them. Is that what goes with getting older? Maybe. I think much had to do with the fact that I started taking better care of myself and putting some of my own needs first.

This was the first year that I kept up with my fitness and nutrition stuff. It's such a HUGE part of my life right now...finally. I've finally learned that it will never be perfect...I will never be perfect BUT everything I do is one step to taking better care of me.

I still have a long way to go and I like that. I want to keep learning and to keep progressing. I am excited about this year...not just for the health stuff, but for my marriage, my children, my family and friends, my business...my whole life.

I don't know how long this feeling will last but I am going to revel in it for as long as I can.